Am I Enough?
Today I had an interview to a place I really like and spend a lot of time and money there so why not get paid for it? It's just another retail job but hey I need 1 more year of customer service before I'm qualified to be a flight attendant. That is my dream, to travel and help make the flights for others a little easier. I might not be the best because of my anger issues and short fuse but hey, maybe I'll like it and learn to control it finally.
My mother wasn't happy and said I should stay at my current job but I just can't do it anymore. The drama, horrible management, shitty guests, and constant fear of a mental breakdown any minute there. I tried telling her this and as always she played the "oh I have it worse" card on how she has no air conditioning and she doesn't like her job either. I can never tell her how I truly feel and thinking because of how hard headed she is and what I feel/think is different from hers so to her it's wrong and will get mad at me. I'm never good enough for her.
She is never happy for me or says positive things to me. Only points out little things and gets mad at me for them. Like if I clean the entire kitchen but forget to change the hand towel that's all she points out and doesn't say anything about how clean it is. On the other hand if we don't thank her in the most enthusiastic voice about every little thing she does than holy hell she'll explode and cry on how we never appreciate or help her than brings up how mean my father is to her. It's not my fault you stayed with him when he cheated on you when you were pregnant with my oldest sister.
On the way to the interview she nagged me about how I shouldn't have left my job if I didn't have another job. I still work at my other job till the 10th, and I just had an interview plus got the job before I quit. So why? Why did you feel like cutting me down when I was doing exactly what you said I should do? Also telling me that I didn't have the right to quit my job. You say I'm a grown woman and yet treat and talk to me like I'm 10. Telling me I won't grow up and blah blah blah but you yourself won't grow up and it afraid to be alone. Demanding us take care of you and you living with us when we are older.
No. When I leave you will be forgotten and no longer needed. You say you wished you kicked me out in high school and that I am a fat, ungrateful, pig, bitch, jerk, asshole who is just like my father. Maybe I am but I'd rather be all of those than be anything like you. I will never be like you. In my 22 years of life I have learned many things from you. I've learned how to be a good mother and person, to do the opposite of everything you have done to me or my siblings. For now I will put up with you but when the day comes and I get accepted to be a flight attended and leave for long periods of time, those will be the days I will enjoy. Those are the days that keeps me going when it gets hard. I never stop till I am free of your reigns.
My mother wasn't happy and said I should stay at my current job but I just can't do it anymore. The drama, horrible management, shitty guests, and constant fear of a mental breakdown any minute there. I tried telling her this and as always she played the "oh I have it worse" card on how she has no air conditioning and she doesn't like her job either. I can never tell her how I truly feel and thinking because of how hard headed she is and what I feel/think is different from hers so to her it's wrong and will get mad at me. I'm never good enough for her.
She is never happy for me or says positive things to me. Only points out little things and gets mad at me for them. Like if I clean the entire kitchen but forget to change the hand towel that's all she points out and doesn't say anything about how clean it is. On the other hand if we don't thank her in the most enthusiastic voice about every little thing she does than holy hell she'll explode and cry on how we never appreciate or help her than brings up how mean my father is to her. It's not my fault you stayed with him when he cheated on you when you were pregnant with my oldest sister.
On the way to the interview she nagged me about how I shouldn't have left my job if I didn't have another job. I still work at my other job till the 10th, and I just had an interview plus got the job before I quit. So why? Why did you feel like cutting me down when I was doing exactly what you said I should do? Also telling me that I didn't have the right to quit my job. You say I'm a grown woman and yet treat and talk to me like I'm 10. Telling me I won't grow up and blah blah blah but you yourself won't grow up and it afraid to be alone. Demanding us take care of you and you living with us when we are older.
No. When I leave you will be forgotten and no longer needed. You say you wished you kicked me out in high school and that I am a fat, ungrateful, pig, bitch, jerk, asshole who is just like my father. Maybe I am but I'd rather be all of those than be anything like you. I will never be like you. In my 22 years of life I have learned many things from you. I've learned how to be a good mother and person, to do the opposite of everything you have done to me or my siblings. For now I will put up with you but when the day comes and I get accepted to be a flight attended and leave for long periods of time, those will be the days I will enjoy. Those are the days that keeps me going when it gets hard. I never stop till I am free of your reigns.
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