Demons
Compare is a thing people do daily, to people we know and don't know. We compare our lives, activities and even our struggles. Some compare more than others but you'd be lying if you said you never do or maybe you just don't care enough. I wish I could be like that, not care. I say I don't care what others think of me and yet I find myself doing it every day. She's prettier, sexier, better than me, has a good life and her shit together. I compare just to feel a little better about myself even to those I know and aren't fond of because I want to be better. Why? I will never be better, no one is ever better than another.
Everyone wants to be the best. To be liked, loved, adored and worshiped. This world makes you think and feel like you are nothing if you don't have everything. Your worth in this world is calculated by the number of follows and "likes". If the superiors hurt and feel down the world stops and hands feeds them love, support and kind words. Telling them it's okay to have a blemish or be a little over weight and mental sickness disappears by a "like". But turn away those who are less and are truly suffering everyday. Telling them to get over it or just be happy like it's easy. They don't want to be affiliated with you and maybe damage their public image. I hate those people and yet I see myself becoming that way and only caring about the opinions of balloon head bimbos who I think will cure my intrusive thoughts and late night cries. Maybe these placebos will have an effect on me and I'll wake up perfect and beautiful.
No.
This is no dream and it'll never be perfect. I wasn't born to be one of them. I was born to be scrutinized and be the "trying too hard be liked" person. I know they don't matter. I know at the end it will just be me. I know all those things but my demons won't let them go. I've drowned them for so long they learned how to swim. Now the only thing I can do is become a machine and hide behind a mask never knowing how to be okay. Everyday I feel myself giving up. Always having to do something so these thoughts get pushed back. Follows and "likes" make myself feel better and that I have a purpose when it's all just sugar pill bullshit. Everyone knows the truth in social media. It's all just a lie but I fall for it every time. My only wish is that my angel doesn't give up on me.
Everyone wants to be the best. To be liked, loved, adored and worshiped. This world makes you think and feel like you are nothing if you don't have everything. Your worth in this world is calculated by the number of follows and "likes". If the superiors hurt and feel down the world stops and hands feeds them love, support and kind words. Telling them it's okay to have a blemish or be a little over weight and mental sickness disappears by a "like". But turn away those who are less and are truly suffering everyday. Telling them to get over it or just be happy like it's easy. They don't want to be affiliated with you and maybe damage their public image. I hate those people and yet I see myself becoming that way and only caring about the opinions of balloon head bimbos who I think will cure my intrusive thoughts and late night cries. Maybe these placebos will have an effect on me and I'll wake up perfect and beautiful.
No.
This is no dream and it'll never be perfect. I wasn't born to be one of them. I was born to be scrutinized and be the "trying too hard be liked" person. I know they don't matter. I know at the end it will just be me. I know all those things but my demons won't let them go. I've drowned them for so long they learned how to swim. Now the only thing I can do is become a machine and hide behind a mask never knowing how to be okay. Everyday I feel myself giving up. Always having to do something so these thoughts get pushed back. Follows and "likes" make myself feel better and that I have a purpose when it's all just sugar pill bullshit. Everyone knows the truth in social media. It's all just a lie but I fall for it every time. My only wish is that my angel doesn't give up on me.
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